Amishjebus's Xanga

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:28:58 GMT

Have one of those weird days where you feel creepy but good after? I know it's minor but I just sort of realized I'm sort of a sleazy cougar boy. Start the day by molesting one sexy cougar and left her glowing, just in time to almost be caught by another MARRIED cougar who is very territorial about me, who later offers me a ride home (which unfortunately I couldn't take) because she hasn't gotten to spend enough time with me lately. And in the meantime I'm flirting with every sexy young girl who comes in at my job. If we were in an office building with lots of frequently empty rooms, instead of big open Home Depot, I'd never have to leave my job for sex.

Crystaly

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:03:10 GMT

Visited Crystal yesterday for the first time in at least two years. It was fun but depressing. Her new boyfriend Tae Hyun was there and so was Mira and Carl. Carl is getting fat again. That's weird to me. Too weird and I hope he goes back down. I felt like at the end when crystal followed me out to say goodbye alone, that things didn't get said that needed said, but no one knew what to say. It's just hard to be like "I haven't seen you in three years, here's three hours together, see you in a year or two, maybe..." Life is getting strange like that. I told Teressa I needed a hug at work because of how I was feeling, and she obliged, which helped a little. I sometimes feel like I'm loosing Teressa too.

Girl Attorney

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 04:48:09 GMT

Ok so I usually leave this sort of thing out of the blog but today was kind of weird. Ok really weird. I spent more time than anyone other than my lady friend appreciated out of my department at work trying to convince a 40 year old married woman that it wasn't such a bad idea for us to form an intimate relationship. Of course its a horrible idea, and she knows it, but she's sitting there thinking it's a horrible idea because I'll be hurt when we can't last seriously as a couple for ever, and I'm thinking it's a horible idea because she wants to take it to seriously if we do it at all, but we're both still walking around with each other for more than an hour discussing it, and not letting eachother go do anything else even for a minute. So yeah, both of us are fucking stupid, and we both have serious hots for each other.

On of the more unique parts of this is I've never played up my romantic interest before when my main goal was sexual, except after a while with Allie, after she was already being a bitch. Not that I'm totally lying now, but the truth is, I want our companionship, and I want the holding and the sex, but I don't want to be her "Boyfriend", and meet her children, and play step-dad. Christallfuckno. I want to be her backdoor man, and frankly I don't want to be held too accountable for myself either. This is totally not fucking going to work.

Kanye West

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:03:54 GMT

Never gets old...

New photoshop painting

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 22:03:19 GMT

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:52:56 GMT

Andrea from carvel appeared at my job today. When she emails me I'll have her surprise Adrienne with a call.

Reunion

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 05:07:53 GMT

Last night I hung out with Natalia, with Sean Kimmel, Mike Melilo (his house) Christina Facett, Ramil Cruz, Gerald Flores and his girl, Tiffany Vega, and Jeremy Colon; the vast majority of whom I haven't seen since high school, and none of them but Natalia and Ramil have I been around more than a second or two at a time since we were all together in Middle School. We hung out, talked shit about everyone we used to know, laughed, passed around joints that seemed to be multiplying, and just basically felt like we hadn't felt in 12 years.

"Sorry, I'm Afraid the Therapist Is Out; He's Dead"

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 03:25:29 GMT

I'll start this story by letting you know that I used to spend a considerable amount of time playing therapist to a great number of my friends and acquaintances, particularly pertaining to their relationship problems with the opposite sex. In recent years this has slowly declined, and today, in a few ways, greatly illustrates how far I've swerved from my older path. (And I hope Mike doesn't mind me recanting parts of today, I know you're about my only reader anyway so I doubt it)

Again it has been a slow process, starting during a situation in which I was stuck on a train with my best friend's girlfriend while she cried and complained about his behavior after a fight that he had just left me with her after starting. I still played the role of the therapist, suggesting good remedies and talking her down from the perspective of him as the bad guy, but it occurred to me then, that between the ridiculousness and immaturity of both of their behavior, as well as the fact that it left me in an awkward position for close to two hours, that my only reason for treating the situation as I did was my loyalty to Keith. Keith was the only person I was loyal enough to, that I could sit through that situation without attempting to twist it into something beneficial to myself. So I instead tried to benefit THEM. But that was the ONLY reason, it was no longer because I want to help everyone, or have patience.

Over the course of the next year, Marcella's relationship to an abusive psycho finished off what was left of my selfless psychologist act. My family also played a role, but they'd been playing that role since 1984.

Which brings us to the present,

-Where my friend Suckeshia can cry all she wants and all I have the strength to say to her is "Yeah but I know you're strong enough to deal with it." and think to myself "Who cares? You brought it on yourself by living like a stupid ghetto bunny with a lousy baby daddy who you knew was lousy 6 years before you had kids! Don't cry on me, it's not cute, and you're not getting any pity action; I can do better."

-Where a girl I've had minor hook-ups with calls me too early in the morning to find out if I'm available to help her out with a project. I have work that day. She continues to tell me what everyone else she's dealing with is making her put up with. I'm doing the phone equivalent of nodding at the end of every sentence, I'm thinking only about my prepaid minutes, I hang up on her when she puts me on call waiting because of said prepaid minutes, and because I know she'll call me back, and be too worried about me dropping her completely to give me much shit about it. I don't try to think up advice or comforting words. That's too much work at 8:30. An earlier conversation was about what she should do about a guy who was totally un-suave and had twice just called her for booty calls which she refused. I don't try to tell her what she deserves or how to get the guy to be sweeter, I just tell her he's bad at it and I'm better at it. It works. By the way, this is a friend of mine who's company I greatly enjoy, and I have a lot of respect for; not just an anoying stupid whore I only spend time with for the one thing. And yet this is the treatment I give now for therapy sessions.

-Where I work with a woman who talks all the time about her daughters and her life, but avoids mentioning her husband to a point where it's plain as day that it's completely intentional. All she's ever said is she got married too young. Do I try to see a solution to the problem or help her determine how to patch things up or if it's right to leave? Hell no, that's none of my business. What IS my business is that even though her oldest daugher is closer to my age than she is; she's cute and young looking (i'm one of maybe 5 people who knows she's not in her late 20's), and when I don' see her for long time she seeks me out to ask why I don't visit her in her ofice anymore. I used to have the utmost respect for marriage. That was the one thing that was off limits. Oh well. Though she's the hardest woman I know to read in terms of figuring out what she does or doesn't want, I'm up for a challenge. I don't know if I'm going to give any massage therapy any time soon, but I do know damn sure I'm not giving any PSYCHOtherapy.

Which brings us to today.

For starters, I made one of my visits to the married woman. I had been extra flirty and hands on the night before. I toned it down. Nothing too spectacular, but she got a big grin when I took the interruption of her taking a call to do a quick sketch of her on the phone looking cute. Point is, yesterday and today I've been putting my effort into harming a marriage rather than helping one.

After I go home, my mom decides I should bring my second air-conditioner (the better one) to my friend Mike whose AC is out of comission. I go over and help. all is lovely. His wife, who I also get along with comes home. She very quickly goes on a lame tare about her computer moniter stopping working. she slams doors etc. I know it's the time for Mike to do something and be supportive in the face of unreasonable emotion, I knew what he had to do to fix it, but I didn't say anything, I just kept playing videogames with him like a bunch of insensitive assholes until she walked out. I finally at that point said "dude" which caused him to follower her and try to talk to her... which resulted in me being pissed about being stuck away from home for someone's argument... which resulted in being outside on the swingset across the street when Kat Accidently ran over his foot with her SUV. After we got him up stairs on crutches and I got him an ice pack, Kat drove me home, mostly in silence because I was largely unresponsive when she tried to lightly vent about how it's all about a constant issue where she doesn't want people over after a certain time because of work. I could have been way more helpful, but instead I was looking out my window thinking about the book I'm writing, and feeling ike even though I love those two as my friends quite a lot, they do dumb as fuck things when they're mad, and it's too far gone to be my problem, let's just visit on a better day, yes? Eventually when I'm better off, I'll be less bummy, and I'll treat. But in any case, let's make that our biggest issue for when we see each other. And the worst part yet about me: while I pitied both of them for what was happening to them emotionally and physically (fucking ouch, really) I couldn't help but look at it mostly from a outside, birds eye view, and find the whole scene hilarious.

So there you have it. The office is closed.

OK that's a lie, I've played therapist twice recently, Once to Natalia, and once to Teresa, but both times required a hell of a lot of love for my patient, and in both cases the main causes of greif were completely external.

Friday, August 07, 2009

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 15:26:57 GMT

So one day I find myself at a music festival, seeing ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead, Tool, and others as one of the best musical experiences of my life so far, two days later I'm with my friend in the hospital and he insists we go back and smoke the craziest weed in this dimension and I spend hours watching cartoons behind my eyelids, two days later I'm on set for my friend's film where we argue with a satellite dish guy, the cameramen let air out of his tires, and I end the day drinking beer eating chinese food and making out with someone I never really considered for that type of activity before.

I'm hoping something amazing happens tomorrow to keep it going.

Shades Of Orange

Sun, 28 Jun 2009 03:28:45 GMT

She smiled again and then looked back up into my eyes, involuntarily smiling brighter after she did. She was a tall woman, less than an inch shy of my own height, and our eyes locked level with each other until she repeated my name once more in her feather soft English accent, and leaned in closer and lower. Her long kinky curls slid forward towards me across her bare, deep sahara shoulders. Her husband had been here with us an hour ago, but all signs of him had disappeared with his exit. Her maple eyes dropped from my blues down to my body, and so I lowered mine to hers. Her figure was a thin and delicate sculpture of soft curves, draped from her neck in folds of charred gold fabric, just two shades lighter than her skin. Her bare back slid in and back out to her hip like a sand dune. The cloth from her top flowed lightly in the air, loose and free from her abdomen, but drawn tight against her firm breasts and deep brown nipples, which had become erect over the course of our conversation; too dark and too hard to be concealed by the thin fabric. I wasn't sure if I was right in what I was doing, but it was too late to turn back, too late to care. She wanted it.
I said;
"Bring them to the returns desk and get the two cans switched. Tell them Justin in Paint approved the return, and they can call my desk if they have a problem."
She backed away from the desk smiling, and thanked me, over-emphasizing my name, while an old man with hairy ears urgently called for my attention, waving his hand;
"Speak-eh-spanic?"

Home Depot sucks.
_________

a real post about how crazy shit really is will probably be soon, but this amused me.

Billy Mays died. What The Fuck and a half. And now I'll never get to do those skits I wrote about him.